Tuesday, November 16, 2010


If the clip uploads to this site;  you can see the strength of the wind gusts when it hits my woods bag on the bench.  Also the waves are a bit on the fast side also.  Douglas, Shade and Happy are doing their happy laps after swimming.  They make me laugh.  I needed a laugh today.
This late afternoon on the edge of Tellico Lake sort of reminds me of the canoe trip on Calderwood Lake with Douglas a few months ago.  Douglas and I paddled back up the lake toward home when a series of tremendous wind shears blasted down the canyon and into the canoe blowing us back down the lake from where we came.  That was a paddle trip I'll not soon forget.

It's late afternoon and the rain finally stopped.  The water fell continuously since nightfall yesterday.  The temperatures remain mild but, theres a strong, gusty wind that just will not relax for a moment.  The dogs needed to stretch their legs so why not just get out there;  so here we are.

I've been feeling sort of down in the dumps, so to speak, this week.  Maybe it's just that Winter is approaching.  I like Winter though especially in Tennessee.  I've got an "almost" warm place to stay, a motor boat, enduro motorcycle, a canoe and another freighter canoe on the way, a great family of dogs and a super job.  

I attribute the doldrums partly because a close friend of mine quit at the Harley Store.  He became seriously ill this summer and the malady took a toll on him I'm afraid.  I miss James very much, as does all the co-workers who shared the day with him.  That's part of it I guess.  There's a sandhill crane hunt proposal that appears to be on the way to fruition.  That disgusts me to no end.  It's senseless and needless.  None of my letters or phone calls to the state were answered.  None!  How inconsiderate!

And then there's old Sigh, the now 15 year old hound.  She may be 16 for all I know.  She sat looking at me just last night with her eyes riveted to me.  Her gray face appeared concerned and serious.  When I acknowledged her presence;  her mouth opened and a little, tiny, low short growl was emitted.  Her eyes went soft and both her front feet pronged up and down on the floor twice.  She can act like a puppy at times.

I noticed a fifth tumor had suddenly appeared on her chest.  She has carried four prominent tumors, each the size of a gulf ball on her chest all Summer.  Now, a new one has appeared.  There are three more on her stomach area just behind her front legs.  They are apparent when she rolls onto her back.  Sigh doesn't seem to mind them but, I guess I do.

I know she is on borrowed time and that realization causes a constant compression on my heart.  I try not to think of it but, I can't help it.  Will I be there when her time comes?  Will she hurt?  I know she will be frightened and confused on that terrible occasion.   All dogs are confused when the leg doesn't work or they can't arise and stand when they want.  Julia, another old hound, looked at me with terror in her eyes as she tried to stand and her back legs continually collapsed with each attempt.  It was a new experience for her and one she couldn't deal with, nor could I.  I want to be there for Sigh when her legs fail her, and they will.  I want to be with her to calm the terror that will be in her eyes by holding her muzzle in my palm and speaking softly to her while caressing her head.    Beyond that;  I don't want to think about it.

Old girl;  soft and quiet as a whisper - always.
You're named after the breath of an angel;

Oh well;  the waves are lapping against the shore line and the wind is blowing harder.  I guess I'll just get the dogs and go home.