Wednesday, March 17, 2010


I guess it is that time of year.  Oh;  that would be the necessity of mowing down domestic weeds better known as grass.  Many of you know that I covet my lawn mower and would stop a bullet for its salvation.  Lies;  all lies.  Cutting grass is the one social abomination that is the most hated process in my worldly life.  Even when I'm dead a cold in some grave;  I'll do my best to prevent grass from growing on the soil that covers me.
I absolutely can not understand the undying love that people have for the pastime of mowing the lawn.  They spend thousands of dollars annually on their equipment, deny themselves worldly pleasures, relinquish time with family and friends, sacrifice the much wanted new set of golf clubs due to mower repair costs and miss their children s birthdays and are late for dinner more times than not over having to get the grass cut before the rain.
I was raised on a farm and the chores and day to day farm activities always took precedence over mowing the lawn.  Mom would gripe to dad to make the "boy" mow the grass.  I reluctantly did my duty behind a mower much like the one you see above.   When I moved to the South I noticed another alarming interest concerning lawn mowers.  That new discovery would be that of lawn mower racing.  Can you believe it?  Lawn mower racing could very well replace NASCAR in the not too distant future.   What is that all about?  The distasteful act of pushing or riding a lawn mower around in circles has escalated into a racing sport.

Fathers and sons are spending not only up to six hours a week mowing domestic weeds but, now they are souping up their favorite ride to enter into competitive lawn mower sporting events.  The thousand or two thousand dollars a year spent on routine maintenance and fuel has grown even to a greater amount.  The worse thing is that more time is lost out of one's life to accomplish worthwhile things.  An example would be to spend a weekend camping on the lake with the family.  Commune with nature.  Teach the younguns a thing or two about the natural world.  Get them involved in the real life processes that count for something.  Awaken those dormant brain cells that kids carry around between their ears with new and different information.  In the process of taking the kid out on a canoe paddle around the pond;  you may find an opportunity to accidentally drop his I pod or cell phone into the drink.  It would be to his benefit.  He's going to hurt himself with the cell phone cause he'll be texting one day and walk off the edge of a cliff while pushing the buttons.
I have even seen people customize their lawn mower rides.  Extended front ends, lowering kits and drive sprocket changes are becoming the commonplace.  Think how much time could be spent with the family or relaxing with a favorite drink in your air conditioned room;  if your a city type.  But no!  You have to mow the lawn or, rush to the race track with your hyped up dirt track lawn mower to compete against BaBa Huffman who came up from Atlanta to clean everyone's clock at Zippy's race track over in Sevierville.

Yep;  line em up and drop the hammer.  Bust a drive chain and get the wallet out
When I got home last night and stepped out of the truck and scanned the area next to my habitat and saw the tall tufts of  domestic weeds I felt sick to my stomach.  Now, for every two days I have off one half of one will be spent walking or riding round in circles endlessly cutting what grows naturally and repetitively.    If it grows repetitively, kill it.  Why keep cutting it down.  If ya want to stop termites ya kill em all;  not just a few of em.  To prevent dogs from propagating;  ya neuter them.  You don't neuter every other one.  Grass should be the same.   Kill the damn stuff.  Anyhow;  I think you understand my position on domestic weed control.  I'd really like to sit down with the fool who put the idea into everyone's heads that manicured lawns is the absolute and only acceptable outdoor home lawn decoration for society.  Personally I like to see natural grasses.
If you notice the blog entries becoming shorter and shorter and fewer and fewer over the summer;  it's because I have less time to spend in the woods, on the lakes, on the motorcycle and at the tablet writing this stuff.  If you enjoy this blog at all I have only one request.  Please pray my mower gets stolen.