Monday, April 8, 2013


I made mention of the following subject a year ago and I relived the delicious experience again today.   I was on a motorcycle ride today and drove through the town of Telico Plains here in East Tennessee.  Tellico Plains is a quaint little, out of the way village that is situated at the beginning of the Chirohala Skyway.  There is a pretty little ice cream store in the old section of town named "The Downtown Creamery." 
 If you are anywhere within a hundred miles of this store - you have to drive there and experience the very best ice cream products and friendly, cordial service imaginable.  I warn you that the portions are rather large.  Well - enormous is a better word.  I ordered my usual which is a banana split and, well, see below:
Above you can see that little temptation being prepared.  More follows.
Wow!  My mouth was watering.  After being reminded of the size of this thing I wondered if I could eat it all.  Of course we all know that I could and, would.
Oh man!  It's almost done.  Here it comes!  
Look at that thing!  It's made of real ice cream too.  Oh, the enormity of it all!  Yikes!  
Wonder if I can eat it all.  
Were there any doubts?

I trundled out of the Creamery and slowly crept over to the bike and swung my leg over the seat.  I was moving slow for some reason.  

The bike wanted to experience a nice slow pace on a gently curving road and I went along for the ride.  All of a sudden we passed an object that was an eye catcher for me.  I quickly did a turnabout and pulled into a large gravel lot that seemed abandoned.  The object I saw was a military all terrain vehicle.  It was an amphibious duck.  Well - look below.  Wow!  I was mesmerized by its size.  With one of these in my possession the possibilities were unlimited.  
I wanted this thing.  It must have been sitting here since WWII.  She was beautiful.  Oh, she'd need a few minor repairs but, nothing a resourceful guy like me couldn't perform.
Those wheels you see belong under the machine. This thing will go on land or water.  I would be invincible in this baby!  Look at the lines of this thing.  She's even camo painted already.  She's a big girl though!
It's even got an enclosed cockpit.  How sweet is that?  Check out the drive unit.  Impressive!

I was giddy with excitement.  Cherokee Lake would never be the same.  I could roll over any rocks and boulders - climb over cliffs and splash into the water under tremendous power delivered by the huge inboard diesel engine.   Oh boy!

Even the spec plate was still attached to her side.  What more could be expected?  Perfect!  I had to find out who owned this beauty and see what he'd take for it.  All I'd need would be a tractor trailer with a flat bed to haul er up to the house.  Then the refurbishment process could begin.  What a project!  Ho boy!  Have to rebuild the engine cause it probably sat idle for 6 decades.  Shouldn't take much.  Then the hydraulic system would need some TLC.  No big deal.  Wheel bearings and differential gears would need rebuilt and new tires would have to be purchased.  That's all minor stuff.  Then there's the issue of registration.  Is it a motor vehicle or a boat?  Not my problem.  That's a court house issue.  Home free!  Below is what she looked like new.
I mounted up with a smile on my face and headed down the road with a happy audible chuckle.   I thought about what part of that thing I'd start rebuilding first.  Then, I sort of added costs to each portion of the project.  Thirty miles down the road my smile turned into a frown.  I figured what my mortgage was and how much I make and how much I don't make and how much I would need to fix that baby, which would be around $40,000 which was figured while on the seat of the bike.  I might be able to buy one tire if I saved up for six months.   Hum.  Oh well - it was fun to pretend.  I didn't want it anyway.  Someone would just steal the darned thing.
Below is a video of one of these things in operation.  It's an old, old original video: