Mareid Nesbit of “Celtic Woman” fame is playing an exciting violin solo
called Grainuaile’s Dance. The CD volume
is turned down low so I can think. With
a cup of coffee in hand I step out onto the porch with my girls. The rockers have been taken inside and there
is no furniture to sit on but, the porch has a great railing just the right
height to half sit upon. A small amount
of light shines down from a window on the second story onto the yard area just
in front of the porch. A very gentle
rain is falling and the temperature, though chilly, isn’t intolerable. I’m thinking how much I like Celtic
music. Its rhythms are like no other
music’s and the ladies of Celtic Woman have voices of perfection. Chestnut hound casually walks across the
porch and sits down on the edge of the top step with her feet on the next step
down. She reminds me of how a little kid
might sit there. Dear Shade is at my
feet where she always is. She is my
shadow at all times when we are together.
Happy? Well, Happy is running
back toward the porch from the yard with a florescent green, squeaky tennis
ball in her mouth. Oh, that sound –
squeak, squeak constantly! She’s such a
sweet little girl. It wasn’t easy but I
got the ball away from her – just until we went back inside later.
It’s quiet out here. There isn’t a
sound except for the gentle rain falling through the trees. There are a lot of big oak trees surrounding
this house offering many, many leaves for the rain to fall upon and pat against. Sometimes at night I can think myself into
being somewhere else – someplace in a forest where no one exists but my girls
and me. And – I miss “him” tonight.
My sweet boy didn’t have the chance to share our final home
together. How disappointing and sad! Carelessness on my part erased him from my
life in an instant and I will forever beg his forgiveness.
I can barely see the roof of the house that sits down over the hill 600
feet away to the front of us. I planted
Thalusia Pines along the edge of my drive with the expectation that they would
block the view of that roof. They have
grown twice their height since I planted them last July and they are performing
their duty well. The forsythias from
Scona reside in front of the pines where I can see them when they bloom this
Fall. This place is indeed pretty and
it’s far enough away from the chaos to provide solitude.
A cold nose bumps against the back of my hand that is resting upon my
knee. Clear, bright eyes, the whites
predominant, stare up at my face – the eyes surrounded by the softest black
hair and fir. I lay my hand on the top
of her head and the white disappears.
How sweet is she?! With a deep
breath and a sigh I ask myself out loud, “what are you doing here?” It’s too deep to go there. But, thoughts are pouring through my head
tonight for some reason. Were all the
years and experiences designed to lead me down a path through life that would
deposit me here, on this spot? Maybe,
but I doubt it. Then again - maybe. Life has been some picnic for sure. The fruit of that picnic has been mostly
sweet with a touch of bitter lemon in the later years. I am
happier now than I’ve ever been. Maybe I
feel that way because it actually is “now” and the sensations are immediate and
fresh. I used to say my years as a young
man on the farm were the happiest. Those
were indeed good times. I guess the
difference between then and now is that I’ve been through three quarters of
living with the emphasis being placed on success and money, work and social
acceptance. Priorities are very
different during this last quarter of existence. Money, social standing, fancy cars and status
have been replaced by creativity, appreciation of the wild places and the
inhabitants who dwell there. The
acquirement of a dream job that places me squarely in the middle of “out there”
helps too. Instead of focusing on
gaining wealth I concentrate on ways to get into the wilderness places to
capture what I see in a camera and present it in a creative, pleasurable way
that will interest folks who read and view my writings and pictures. I am passionate about the wild places, as you
already know.
“There you go again, Shade. You’re
always licking my hand. It’s irritating
at times but, I’ll never try to stop you because it shows how you feel about me.” Sweet girl!
The sky is dark and the rain continues to fall. I turned the collar of my jacket up against
my neck. A chill caused me to hunch my
shoulders and shiver. All I need to do
is turn and go inside but I’m reluctant to leave the scene and break the magic
of this evening moment. I guess it’s
time though. I stood up and looked once more
toward the dark sky – then down at the girls gathered around my feet, waiting
in anticipation of some order or direction from me. I opened the front door and they all slowly
filed inside. I stopped, turned and
looked up at the sky once more and said, “miss ya Douglas”, stepped across the
threshold and pulled the door shut.